Grapefruit

Psalm 139
1 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
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Today, a friend introduced me to a group of folks I didn't know and who didn't know me. Her introduction was accurate, as far as it goes, but it makes me realize that she only knows one part of me.

We all have associations with folks in different capacities. How many can you name? The family relationships alone would take a long time. Then there's work, church, social, professional, casual relationships, intimate friendships. We show a different part of ourselves to each person we meet, depending upon how much we trust that other person, what we hope to gain from that relationship and how long we want the relationship to last. For instance, a relationship with my husband is very different from a relationship with the cashier at the grocery store. They each see a different part of me. I am willing to share a larger portion of myself with my husband than I am the cashier. (By the way, I have no doubt that the cashier is just fine with that.)

But all this got me to thinking about how I compartmentalize my life. Just like the sections of a grapefruit. I have a spouse section, a mother section, a grandmother section, a daughter section, a friend section, a church section, a work section and on and on. I even have a section reserved for self, that no one else knows. Like a grapefruit, sometimes life is sweet, sometimes sour, sometimes bitter. It all depends on how deep you dig into the section. Sometimes a grapefruit is whole, but sometimes it's cut open and the juices flow. When it's whole, no one sees the different sections, but when it's cut open, we see that some sections are larger than others.

And then I wondered..... do I even know all the sections of my life? I know how I feel about other people, but how do others see me? What things are there that I don't even admit to myself? Am I even aware of all that is within me?

No........ The answer to the last question is 'no.' But, God knows me. God knows all there is to know about me. God knows all the parts of my life and helps to make me whole. That's what the psalmist is saying.... O Lord, you have searched me and know me.

Something to ponder

This was included in one of those sappy emails that you are supposed to send on to 50 of your nearest and dearest friends in the next 5 minutes or something horrible will happen to you. I usually just use the delete key on those. However, this one gave me one little nugget to consider.

"Don't miss out on a blessing because it isn't packaged the way that you expect."

I wonder what blessings I will encounter today........ Will I recognize the blessings?

Why should I pray? How should I pray? Does it matter?

1 Samuel 1, especially verse 20 “Because I asked the Lord for him.”
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I was reading the story of Hannah. Her prayers were non-stop, asking the Lord to give her a son. The priest Eli thought that she was drunk because of the way she prayed. She tells the Lord that she will give the son back to His service, if only she can have a son. The Lord answers her prayer for a son, whom she names Samuel. True to her word, she gives Samuel back to the priest Eli to raise in the temple for the Lord.

Now, what does this mean for me? I'm not sure I believe that prayer works in this way, but maybe I'm missing something. It seems that Hannah asked, pleaded and bargained and finally God gave in. When explaining Samuel's name, she says that it means "Because I asked the Lord for him."

This isn't my understanding of God. Can we cajole, whine or plead favors from God to suit us? Is God unaware of our wants or needs? I don't see God hanging around saying, "Oh, I'm sure glad you reminded me that you need some food (or that Auntie Bertha is sick) because I had forgotten all about that." Somehow it seems quite a cruel way for a loving God to respond. It seems like a simplistic view of God.

Yet, repeatedly the Scriptures tell us to pray to God to make our wants and needs known. "Ask and it shall be given to you." (Matthew 7:7) "You do not have because you do not ask." (James 4:2) "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

What does it mean when you don't get what you want or think you need? When you don't get the job you want, but another person is hired? When you have a car accident, even though you prayed for God to keep you safe? When your mother dies from cancer, even though you asked that she be healed? When the Cubs aren't in the World Series for yet another year? Does that mean God wasn't listening? or that you didn't pray often enough? or loud enough? or hard enough? or say the right words in the right order?

It seems that I need to remember the words that Jesus taught us. "Your will be done, on earth and in heaven." Perhaps the reason to pray is to change my attitudes, my wants, my needs to be attuned to what God wants for me. I wonder if the reason for prayer is to build relationship with God.

Keeping confidences

Recently, I've had several folks tell me things in confidence. These were not secrets or gossip, but concerns or desires of their hearts. Sometimes they had a need to vent.

Of course, I do the same at my Monday thru Friday job. I ask very personal questions about people, their income, their schooling, their training, who they live with, why they got fired, why they quit.....and I hear lots of stories. Some laughable, some silly, others sad or just plain horrible. I've learned to listen well and reflect what the person has told me. That seems to be a rare gift.

So many people just need a safe place to tell their story and not be condemned by the listener. I am honored and humbled to be entrusted with these confidences. I wonder why they choose me. What is there about me that makes others feel safe? Hmmm...........

Reflection

On Sept 19, I met with a group of Disciples who gathered to vision and make plans to implement the vision. We made some progress, but got sidetracked into a discussion of how we communicate with one another.

There are those who freely admit that they are not good at electronic methods of communication (internet, e-mail, and all that falls within that bailiwick.) In fact, some seem quite proud of the fact that they don't use computers. My kneejerk reaction is to shake my head in frustration. It is quite a task to keep up with all these new technologies, but that doesn't mean we should give up trying.

I can understand laity's resistance to change. It's easier to stick with the familiar than to reach into the unknown. How many times have we laughed about the 11th commandment of Protestant churches? The one that says, "Thou shalt not (fill in the blank) because we've never done it that way." I shudder to think that some of our pastors resist these changes. Tell me...... Aren't pastors in the business of presenting the Gospel in order to transform lives? Turn away from the world and turn towards God. Now, if a pastor is not communicating that message then I think they may as well go back to selling shoes or flipping burgers. God calls us to be transformed. To be changed. To turn from what was to what is to be. God promises that life in Christ is a better way.

If pastors are content to allow resistance to change in this small issue of communications, then I'm afraid that pastors will not push for major changes in lives that are needed to become one with God. Our churches will stagnate. We Christians already have trouble convincing people that the Gospel is relevant to lives today. Let's at least present the message of God's love in a way that the world is willing to hear. We don't need to make it comfortable for us who already know Jesus Christ as our saviour. We need to find more ways to bring the Gospel to those who haven't heard the message.

What other things does the Church need to do differently to direct lives toward God? I wonder..........

Questions

Some things for me to consider:

-- Our faith is not about answers. Sometimes, our faith is more about questions. What are the questions for which I have no answers?

-- Distractions are everywhere. What distracts me from my goals? From my God?

-- Where is God leading me? Where am I going? Am I a good follower or am I trying to lead?

-- How often do we think it is our degree or training that qualifies us to do ministry?

-- Where do I see God in my ordinary and every day life?

-- What common things does God make holy?

-- Sometimes Jesus' teachings seem outrageous and are hard to understand. Which teachings are most difficult for me?

-- Am I always properly prepared to face the day? What do I need to be prepared?

-- In what way will I choose God today? How will the world know who I have chosen?

A change in plans

I tell you........ I'm confused and perturbed and amazed all at the same time. Here's what happened.

I thought I'd been watching and listening for God to tell me how to respond to the kids that show up on Wednesday nights to eat at the potluck meal. I really thought I understood what God wanted us to do to show the kids that we not only care that they have food in their tummies, but also that they have food for their souls.

So, I put signs on the tables last week, telling the kids to come to the balloon table after they finished their meal. Then this week, I went thru the supply room and found crafts, games, treats, coloring pages and crayons. I was ready. I knew the kids could only stay there until Mom and Dad were ready to go home, so I planned quick activities or things the kids could take home.

When I arrived tonight, I looked around the room. Where were the kids? There weren't any kids old enough to hold a crayon without eating it. What sort of a mean joke was God playing? There were two babies, but the games and the take-home treats were no good for babies.

So, I stopped and looked around. I had a short and rather heated discussion with God to let God know that I was confused, angry and hurt that he hadn't helped with the plan. After all, I thought it was God's plan. When did the plan change and why wasn't I notified? God told me there was a new plan. The babies could each have a balloon. One of the mentally disabled adults got a balloon, too. He was so very excited and even tho he doesn't speak, I knew he was saying thank you. Another young man took a balloon, saying he was going to write a note to his dad, tie the note onto the string and then let it float up to heaven. That's what he did.

We put the games, coloring pages and crayons back in the closet and will save those for another time. Of course, we gave away all the balloons, but that's ok...... those balloons gave great joy to the ones who received them. We'll blow up more balloons next week and maybe get the other things out of the closet, just in case God changes the plan again. You never know. I wonder what will happen next week........